Barney's Blog

Barney writing on his blog

Barney's Blog is a blog kept by Barney Stinson, one of the main characters of How I Met Your Mother. Each entry is usually in response to what occurs during the episodes.

Blog Entries

1. Ted Suits Up
2. Venn Diagram...
3. Lick My Bells
4. Directions To The Dump
5. Shooting Women In A Barrel
6. Update
7. Findings
8. Halloween Sluts
9. Barney's Mail "Sack"
10. Lemon Law
11. Holiday Spirits
12. Let's Close A Deal
13. Barney's Mail "Sack" 2
14. A Term Is Conceived
15. Party Alert!
16. Getting Unpsyched Through Film
17. Barney's Mail "Sack" 3
18. Breaking Down Bridesmaids
19. Haiku? Hiya!
20. Brocabulary Lesson
21. When Should You Wear Jeans To A Strip Club... Never!
22. Winter Oh! - Lympics
23. Recycling
24. Launching A Thousand Relationships
25. Sweet Sixteen
26. Road To My Pants
27. The Air Up There
28. Too Tall For My Britches
29. Diversifying Your Online Portfolio
30. Sexual Profiling
31. An Open Letter To Clark Butterfield
32. Waterbed's Death Bed
33. Barneypalooza 2006
34. Chicks x 2
35. Rack-Jack Alert
36. Occupation Stimulation
37. The Amazing Morning-After System
38. Huntin' Coug
39. Swarley's Blog
40. Barney's Guide To Gambling
41. Sunken Treasure
42. Stinson V. Stinson
43. Take Two Awesomes And Don't Call Me In The Morning
44. Popping Your Big Apple
45. The Barnabus Stinson Presidential Library
46. The Stinson Super Bowl Party Sportsbook
47. Barney's Mail "Sack" 4
48. The Barney Stinson Theatre Experience
49. License Not To Drive
50. Stinson's Instant Love Nest - "STILN"
51. The Barney Stinson Bachelor Party Experience
52. The Price Is Always Right
53. It's For The Bride Scavenger Hunt
54. Visual Aid? Visual Laid
55. Tattoozled
56. Just Visiting!
57. Three-Way
58. Sexploration
59. The Hot/Crazy Scale
60. Ted Mosby, Sex Architect
61. Barney's Mail "Sack" 5
62. St. Barney's Day
63. 8.3 Seconds – That’s All You’ve Got To Make A First Impression
64. Scrapbooking
65. The Pyramid Of Screaming
66. Beach Videos
67. The Bro Code
68. A Call To Wings
69. Barney's Mail "Sack" 6
70. Emrgency Rroom
71. Overcoming Illness
72. The Host With The Most
73. I Heart NJ
74. Interveneous Injection
75. The Bro Code 2
76. Doing Hard Time
77. Not A Father's Day
78. Barney Stinson University (B.S.U.)
79. Naked Man!
80. Everybody's Kung-Fu Fighting
81. Dear Santa
82. Barney's Mail "Sack" 7
83. Bingo!
84. Italian Leather Clad Foot In The Door
85. Casting Couch
86. The Greatest Story Ever Told
87. Couture Watch: Nightshirt Makes Night Moves
88. Oh Canada
89. Old Person Quiz
90. The Fantasy Fantasy League
91. 3, 4, Knock On My Door
92. Crunching The Numbers
93. As Fast As I Can
94. Barney's Mail "Sack" 8
95. Define This!
96. Why Girls MUST Wear Jeans to a Strip Club...
97. Notes From Class: Robin 101
98. Worst Night Ever
99. Canadian Citizenship
100. Barney Knows
101. Girls Or Food
102. The Playbook
103. The Slap Stops Here!
104. Dress To Impress
105. Girls Vs. Suits - This Time Its Personal!
106. Martin Luther King Day
107. Roosevelt Peter "Mustache Pete" Drexel
108. Super Bowl
109. A History Of Hotness
110. Barney's Book Report
111. How To Take Perfect Pictures
112. What History Says
113. Shedding A Tear
114. Kiddie Rules
115. Movie Review: The Wedding Bride (2010)
116. 45
117. Summer Breeze... Up The Summer Skirt
118. From The Files Of Li'l Barney
119. The Playbook!
120. Boobonyms
121. A Bro-Working Relationship
122. Challenge Accepted!
123. Calling All Hotties
124. Barney Stinson: A Life Of Awesome
125. No Porn? No Prob!
126. Blitz
127. "How To Be Awesome" - Chapter 83: The Mermaid Theory
128. Barney's Favorite Things
129. Partner Up
130. Hard To Get
131. A Public Service Announcement
132. The Sex Sense
133. My One And Only Rule
134. Father & Son
135. Personality Improvements
136. Boom Goes The Dynamite
137. Landmarks
138. R & Double D
139. Truth Stretchers
140. Duck You, Marshall Eriksen
141. Dr. Barney Stinson's Consultations
142. Brocus Group
143. How To Dress... Your Baby
144. The Awesomest Things
145. Oh, Canada...
146. It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And You Feel Foin!)
147. Two Bros And A Baby
148. Shafted
149. Puzzles!
150. Barney For Leader
151. Barney's Mail "Sack" 9
152. EPS
153. The Sex Tape Conundrum
154. A Rose By Any Other Name
155. Broman Empire
156. Patent Pending
157. Barney's Mail "Sack" 10
158. Come Work For Goliath National Bank
159. The Great Barndini
160. Interrogation Room, Sweet Interrogation Room
161. Phone Sex Mad-Libs
162. The Pre-Shtup
163. The Stinsonian Calendar
164. Splitsville
165. Jury Booty
166. Stinson's Choice
167. Bro Bibs
168. The Bro Code For Parents
169. Bro-Dog Accessories
170. The Twelve Days Of Christmas
171. Jinx!
172. New Play!
173. The Splendiferous Adventures...
174. Prop 69
175. Kicked in the Donuts
176. Personal Brolongings
177. The Ashtray
178. The Weekend at Barney's
179. High-Five Realty
180. Uncle Barney's Mail Sack
181. Ridonkulous
182. The Bro-Mitzvah
183. Greater NY's Laser Tag Rankings
184. Public Service Bronouncement
185. From the Brotebook
186. Great Grandmother Russia
187. The Night Of The Barely Living Dead
188. Broliferation
189. Fake Listening
190. Wedding Questionnaire
191. Another Grate Idea
192. Weigh To Go
193. Bangevator Conversion Kit
194. The Player King Of New York City
195. Awesome Idea Exchange
196. That's The Dream
197. Slap Judgement
198. BUI (Blogging Under the Influence)
199. Holiday Ins
200. The Awesome Rules
201. Too Many Manhattans
202. Suits For Sale
203. The Mosby Boys
204. App-Bro-Tizers
205. Failed Marriage Vows
206. High Infinity
207. The End

Episode Mentions

The following is a list of episodes where Barney's Blog is specifically mentioned by one of the characters.

Pilot

While riding in a cab, Barney's so excited Ted finally suited up at his request that he's going to put it in his blog.

"Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up. This is totally going in my blog."

Okay Awesome

Barney tells Lily one of the twenty-four similarities between women and fish, realizing that since she didn't know that, she didn't read his blog.

"One of the twenty-four similarities between women and fish is that they're both attracted to shiny objects. You really never read my blog, do you?"

Wait For It

Barney angrily shouts to Ted when he ditches him to get a tattoo with Amy.

"This is so going in my blog!"

The Bracket​

Ted explains to the group why Barney goes to pet stores to pick up women.

"God bless you, Ted. You're reading my blog."

Ted admits it and explains he is often bored at work. Later in his apartment, Barney is seen typing into his blog, reflecting on all the women he saw earlier as part of of his search for the mystery girl. However the entry was never really posted.

Rebound Bro

Barney's co-worker Randy, who Barney asks to be his wingman when he and Ted aren't talking, says that he regularly reads the blog.

"I have been reading your blog for years. You are like a god to me. "

Rabbit or Duck​

Robin's co-worker Don is naked when Robin enters his house.

"...It's called 'The Naked Man' I read it on some guy's blog."

Doppelgangers​

In the cab, Barney mentions a rule from his blog to Marshall.

"The rule is no kids until you're at least 45. Do you ever read my blog?! It's gotten a lot better."

Last Forever - Part One

Barney gets in a fight with Robin about being unable to post a boner joke on the blog due to their constant travel, leading into their divorce.

"It's not a business, Barney, it's a blog, okay?"

Notes and Trivia

• Barney's Blog is maintained and written each week by Matt Kuhn, one of the writers for the show.
• The song that plays when Barney is seen typing on his blog in The Bracket​ is the theme song for the show "Doogie Howser, M.D.". This memento from the beginning of Neil Patrick Harris' career makes the entire scene resemble the scene at the end of every episode of "Doogie Howser M.D." where Doogie would write an entry in his digital diary.

• The blog may also be seen as a reference to the movie "Dr Horrible Song-Along's Blog " in which Neil Patrick Harris plays the central character.