This is the ninety-ninth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the Barney's Blog at CBS.com Here.
This entry is in response to the episode Duel Citizenship.
Canadian Citizenship[]
October 19, 2009
Picture this: You’re hitch-hiking in Winnipeg in July. Which means it’s freezing out, so you hop in without properly addressing the situation. About a half mile down the road, you’re perturbed when you realize the driver is a crazy murderer and before you can say “Stop what you’re doing, eh!” you are impaled on the blade of his hockey stick. That my friends, is a normal day in Canada.
Now why would anyone want to become a citizen of this backwards “country?” This is one of the great remaining mysteries of the world –- right up there with Stonehenge, crop circles, and why all Brazilian women are 10’s.
Well, I have a plan. If enough of us Uncle Sam lovin’, red white and blue bleedin’ patriots take the Canadian citizenship test, we can vote to make it our fifty-first state and dissolve it once and for all. With that in mind, here’s a cheat sheet to the Canadian citizenship test.
The Official Canadian Citizenship Test for Canadian Citzenship
1) Do you want to be a Canadian?
2) Really?
3) Which is more fun?
eh) Watching hockey
b) Having Sex
4) Alex Trebek is ________
eh) Canadian
b) Creepy
c) Canadian and Creepy
5) Which country do you most wish you were really a citizen of?
eh) U.S.A.
b) All of the above
6) Moose are __________
eh) A National Treasure
b) Good eats
c) Proctoring this test
7) The colors of the Canadian Flag are:
eh) Red and White
b) Maple Syrup and Mountie
c) Cold
8) Canada's Biggest Export is:
eh) Petroleum
b) Teeth
c) Mustachioed Game Show Hosts
9) Boxing Day is:
eh) A Holiday celebrated the day after Christmas
b) A day devoted to punching people? The sounds awesome!
10) If you answered "yes" to questions 1 and 2, there is still time to back out. Just get up and walk away and no will be the wiser.
Notes and Trivia[]
← Previous entry Worst Night Ever |
Canadian Citizenship (all blog entries) |
Next entry → Barney Knows
|