This is the one hundred and sixty-first entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode Farhampton.


October 19, 2012

In your lifetime as a Bro, you will undoubtedly be called upon numerous times to seduce a woman over the phone. That’s just life. To help you along when you eventually get the call to make the call, I’ve crafted this easy-to-follow script. It’s in Brolib form, so simply write down your answers and then fill in the appropriate blanks, then fill in her appropriate blanks. Come on, it was right there.

1. Your name
2. A clearly fake name
3: Awesome Event
4: Kick-ass Profession (Not Architect)
5: A Kardashian or Deity or Both
6: Batman Action Verb ending in “ED”
7: Place to go to the bathroom other than a toilet
8: An object used to hit a ball
9: Body part from the game “Operation”
10: Write the word “Good”
11: Write the word “Good” again
12: What you yell when hitting a three-pointer or executing a finishing move in Mortal Kombat
13: What a magician says after a trick.

Hello. My name is ___1___, ugh… I mean, ____2____. I understand that you’re currently at the ____3____. Don't be concerned that we haven't met and you don’t know who I am. Actually, just so you know, I’m a ____4____. Just say a small prayer of thanks to ____5____ that you have been randomly chosen to be ____6____ to the highest degree. Now, find a small, private ____7____. Go there. Are you there? Good. Now, take a ____8____ and start rubbing it all over ____9____. How does that feel? ____10____? Yeah, I bet it feels ____11____. Now, try to keep quiet. We don't want people hearing your screams of “___12___.” Almost there now, and…____13____. You’ve just been telephonically satisfied, courtesy of ____1____. Ugh, I mean, ____2____.

Notes and Trivia

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