This is the ninety-sixth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the Barney's Blog at CBS.com Here.
This entry is in response to the episode Double Date.
Why Girls MUST wear Jeans to a Strip Club…[]
September 28, 2009
Look down. Do you see boobs? If you answered “no” please refer to my earlier post Never Wear Jeans to a Strip Club from 2/14/06. If you answered “yes” take a second to admire them… maybe give them a soft caress... maybe make an amateur video of you giving them a soft caress… Anyway, the fact that you see boobs most likely* means you’re a chick and therefore have a duty (heh) to always wear jeans if and when you go to a strip club. Why?
1. A chick wearing something other than jeans steals focus. Frankly, it’s disrespectful to those hardworking community college dropouts who’ve decided to listlessly gyrate their sinewy bodies in front of slack-jawed strangers in exchange for cash. Insulting, really.
2. A skirt or a dress says you’re not open to a lap dance. Candy’s doesn’t have the time to push up your petticoats to get in there. That cute floral a-line basically announces you’re taking up space preventing another patron from contributing to her tattoo-removal fund. Not cool.
4. Jeans help prevent infection. Trust me: you want as little exposed flesh on a strip club seat as possible. Save lives: cover up those gams.
5. To attract the fellas. If there’s one thing guys like, its something else. After a night of seeing awesome nakedness, a woman in a pair of sexy tight jeans is a nice change. Plus, if you play your cards right, maybe you’ll take those jeans off later thereby completing the great circle of stripper life.
6. Comfort. The fact that you came to a strip club in the first place shows that you’re a cool chick. You might as well take the night off from style and go for feel – you deserve to slip into those dungarees.
- A friendly “mahalo” to my TG/TS/TV readers!
Notes and Trivia[]
- Mahalo is a Hawaiian word expressing respect
- TG/TS/TV equates to transgender/transexual/transvestite
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