Marshall versus the Machines


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Marshall versus the Machines is a folk song played during Subway Wars​, Bedtime Stories and Bass Player Wanted. Marshall, who feels his body has been letting him down, decides to prove himself better than the machines (subway, taxi, bus, etc.) by racing the gang downtown. As he runs, Marshall versus the Machines plays.

In Bass Player Wanted, the new version of the song is called Marshall versus the Machines (Journey to Farhampton).

"I'll show them. My body can outrun any motorized vehicle. I'm like John Henry when he beat the steam engine. All I need is a great folk song.."


Subway Wars

Gather round, ye children
To hear the tale so sweet
Of a man who dared to race machines
With nothing but his feet

With hair of auburn beauty
A hero dressed in jeans
He's fighting for America

Versus the machines...


As Marshall ran with all his might
And passed his friend, Christine
He thought of all the times that he had
Beaten the machine:

He triumphed over Pitfall
He vanquished the alarm
He brought the jukebox back to life
With his Fonzarelli arm

Versus the machines...

Move along! Yah!
Move along! Yah!

Our hero's strength was fading fast
Just as the light turnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....ed green
He then thought back to all the times
He'd lost to a machine:

The cable box's fearsome bite
The stapler's mighty sting
The cable box's bite again

Getting too tired
To sing...

Notes and Trivia

  • A Provo, UT indie band is named Marshall vs. The Machine in reference to this song.
  • The Song sounds like Vaughn Monroe's "Ghost Riders in the Sky" from 1949.
  • A portion of the songs is heard at the end of Bedtime Stories.

Marshall Eriksen vte
Friends & Family Lily AldrinTed MosbyRobin ScherbatskyBarney StinsonMarvin Eriksen Sr.Judy EriksenMarvin Eriksen Jr.Marcus EriksenAshley EriksenMartin EriksenMarvin W. EriksenDaisy EriksenUnnamed Eriksen Child
Places MacLaren's PubThe ApartmentWesleyan UniversityGoliath National BankMarshall and Lily's apartmentMarshall and Lily's houseAltruCell CorporationGazzola'sHoneywell & CootesNicholson, Hewitt, and West
Phrases LawyeredI'll Allow It
Others Ducky Tie (object)The Eight SlapsTed's best friendYou Just Got SlappedMabelTantrumMarshall versus the MachinesBest Night EverMarshall MedleyIntervention bannerMarshgammonThe Fish ListThe SwordsLong term betsFive WordsBig FudgeI'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)Singing habitRevertigo
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