Ted's best friend

Marshall and Barney argue about being Ted's best friend

The identity of Ted's best friend has been a controversial subject between Marshall, Ted and Barney. Barney and Marshall both claim to be Ted's best friend, and whenever someone comments that Ted's best friend is not them, they tend to act outraged and correct the person who said it.

This is one of the major recurring elements in How I Met Your Mother, dating right back to the Pilot.

The most common occurrence of this is when Barney will make a comment stating that he is Ted's best friend, and Ted will try to correct him saying that Marshall is actually his best friend, only for Barney to ignore him and continue on.

Occasionally, Barney will also claim to be Marshall's best friend, though he is more adamant about his best friendship with Ted.

Episode Occurrences

The following are episodes where an argument/debate over the identity of Ted's best friend has occurred.

Pilot

Ted makes a comment "your best friend gets engaged, you start thinking about that stuff", referring to Marshall as his best friend. Barney responds by saying "I thought I was your best friend... Ted, say I'm your best friend!", Ted concedes, calling Barney his best friend. Pleased, he introduces Ted to Yasmin. Later that episode, Ted declares that Marshall will be his best man at his wedding. Barney is offended and calls out, "I'm your best friend!" as Ted leaves the cab.

Sweet Taste of Liberty​

Ted and Barney try to pick up women in the airport and end up on a plane to Philadelphia. While there Barney has the idea to lick the Liberty Bell and has to remind Ted why he wants to hang out with him so much: "You're my best friend, alright!" For once, Barney concedes that Ted does not have to reciprocate.

The Duel

When Ted calls Marshall "my best friend", Barney gasps; Ted quickly says "One of my best friends". Robin later tells Ted that Marshall is "your best friend"; Barney is again outraged, and an exasperated Robin adds "one of your best friends", causing him to smile.

Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

It is revealed that Robin told Barney, but not Marshall, that she is in love with Ted. Barney claims it is because he is better friends with Robin than Marshall is, and Marshall retorts, "Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are." This leads to a shouting match that continues until the cut to the next scene.

The Scorpion and the Toad​

When Barney tells Marshall "I may be your best friend...", Marshall interjects "Ted's my best friend".

Brunch

Barney is shocked to discover that Ted has never told his parents about him. He insists that he's his best friend, but Ted claims that Marshall is. Barney then counters that he's the most important person in Ted's life, but Ted again says that that Robin is.

Atlantic City​

Marshall, Ted and Barney argue over who is Marshall's 'best man'.

Arrivederci, Fiero

As Ted recounts how he and Marshall were once forced to share body heat to survive a freezing night in the Fiero, he says that that trip was when they became best friends. Barney then taunts, "With privileges, by the sound of it."

Bachelor Party​

While Ted is planning Marshall's bachelor party, Barney can't help but interfere. When Marshall is pissed off at him for all the trouble they went through that night, he threatens to un-invite Barney from the wedding only to find out that Barney flew to San Francisco to get Lily back for him. Ted and Barney turn out to be BOTH Marshall's Best Man. Co-Best Men.

Something Borrowed

In his wedding vows, Marshall says that Lily is his best friend. He briefly apologizes to Ted, though Barney also accepts the apology.

The Goat

Barney corrects Robin when she describes him as Ted's "really good friend". Later, Ted teases Barney over supposedly forgetting his 30th birthday, and in a panic Barney insists he's "the best" friend.

Everything Must Go

Barney tells Abby that he was Ted's best friend for seven years. Abby retorts that Ted said that Marshall is his best friend and Barney loudly repeats "SEVEN YEARS".

Miracles

When Ted and Barney reconcile after Barney's accident, they and Marshall tearfully hug and declare that all three are brothers. Barney insists on being Ted's "best brother".

Shelter Island​

Barney, Ted, Marshall, and Lily are at Ted's wedding in Shelter Island, discussing how Stella doesn't want Robin at the wedding because she's his ex. Ted says that Robin is his best friend and Marshall and Barney both shout out "Heyyyy Wowwwww!!!!". Ted then rephrases that Robin is his best female friend. Lily tries to do the same reaction "Hey wow..." but then drops it and says "Nah. I don't care. Why fake it?"

Woooo!​

Barney says that he and Marshall are in a competition for the title of 'Ted's best friend' and that will change when he tells Ted that he has recommended him to design the New GNB Headquarters. In the end, Barney admits that Marshall is Ted's best friend, "and so am I!"

The Stinsons

The gang and Loretta Stinson discover Ted kissing Margaret, the actress playing Barney's wife. While trying to preserve the deception, Barney states that he has been betrayed by "my best friend".

Old King Clancy

When Bilson fires Ted from designing the new GNB headquarters, he tells Marshall and Barney that Ted's best friend should tell him, to help lessen the blow. They both respond "I have to tell him?" at the same time. This results in one of the rare cases where Marshall and Barney argue against being Ted's best friend, as neither of them want to tell him he's been fired.

The Three Days Rule​

Ted learns that the girl Holli he has been flirting with through text messages is actually Barney and Marshall having fun at his expense. To get back at them, he tells "Holli" that he has gay dreams about his best friend. Barney and Marshall both try and convince each other they are the one Ted is dreaming about, and try to convince Ted to tell them who it is.

The Rough Patch

In a past video to Ted, Barney refers to himself as Ted's best friend before turning to Marshall (who is also watching the video) and insolently adding, "That's right, Marshall, I'm his best friend, how does that feel?"

Big Days​​

After Barney says that he would be Ted's best man at his wedding, Ted replies that Marshall probably would be. Barney loudly repeats "As your best man..." Later, Marshall says that his father is his best friend earning a big "wow" from Ted and Barney.

Desperation Day

During Barney's fake history lesson, Saint Valentine (Ted)'s "best bro" is Saint Desperatius (Barney).

The Rebound Girl

Ted says that if he and Barney were both gay, he would want to be with him. Barney attempts to confirm that they would still be together if Marshall was also gay, and Ted responds that if all three of them were gay, all three of them "would have some fun."

46 Minutes

After Lily and Marshall move to Long Island, Ted says he misses "my two best friends." Barney then snaps, "I'm your two best friends!"

Weekend at Barney's​

Barney prevents Ted from getting back together with Jeanette by making him perform some of his plays from The Playbook while communicating with him through an earpiece. In one of these plays, Ted wears a hospital gown and tells a girl he is donating his kidney to "my best friend Barney, not Marshall."

Bass Player Wanted

Barney learns from a 'troublemaker' who is at the hotel that Ted is moving to Chicago which opens up a tense conversation between the two. Barney is angry that Ted planned to give him no notice before moving away the day after his wedding after a decade of being best friends. Ted corrects him, but immediately admits that he's not in a position to argue. He later reconciles with Barney by stealing a bottle of Glen McKenna.

Memorable Quotes

Ted:	Thirty, right. You’re right. I guess it’s just, you’re best friend gets engaged—you start thinking about that stuff.
Barney:	I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I’m your best friend.
Ted:	You’re my best friend, Barney.
Ted:	Marshall, remember this night. When you’re the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you’re gonna tell this story.
Barney:	Why does he get to be the best man? I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND! —Pilot

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Ted:	Why? Why do you need me?
Barney:	Because, you’re my best friend, alright? You don’t have to tell me I’m yours. But the way I see it, we’re a team. Without you, I’m just the dynamic uno. You know what, fine. If you wanna go home… then we’ll go home.
Ted:	Fine…we’ll go lick the Liberty Bell.
Barney:	Good, ‘cuz we’re here! —Sweet Taste of Liberty

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Barney:	Okay, I got the veil. She wasn't ready to be married. All right, let's talk bachelor party. Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room and have a private toy show?
Ted:	What did you just say?
Marshall:	Barney, no.
Barney:	Marshall, I'm your best man.
Marshall:	You're not my best man.
Ted:	Right here.
Barney:	And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party. That's part of being a best friend.
Marshall:	You're not my best friend.
Ted:	Right here.
Marshall:	Barney, I don't have time for a bachelor party. I've got, like, 18 minutes. —Atlantic City

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Barney:	So.. I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Robin:	And I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's really good friend.
Barney:	Best friend. —The Goat

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Barney:	I've been Ted's best friend for seven years.
Abby:	Ted said Marshall was his best friend.
Barney:	SEVEN YEARS —Everything Must Go

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Barney:	Marshall I want you to enjoy this moment.
Marshall:	What moment?
Barney:	The last moment of you and I are in competition for the title of 'Ted's best friend'.
Ted:	Marshall is my best friend.
Barney:	Exactly. It's a tie. But all of that is about to change. Is it correct that you are an architect?
Ted:	My best friend would know that, but go on. —Woooo!

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Ted:	You know what? To hell with your dibs. I'm going over there right now and talking to her.
Barney:	Oh, yeah, yeah? Be my guest. Fall in love with her. Get married. Just know this: When I step up to make my toast as your best man...
Ted:	Actually, Marshall would probably be...
Barney:	As your best man... —Big Days

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Ted:	It's not until...Monday.
Barney:	Monday! So you are gonna just disappear the day after my wedding! After ten years of being best friends...
Ted:	Well, actually Marshall is...
Barney:	Dont even think about it!
Ted:	Fair enough.
Barney:	You are giving me one days notice? —Bass Player Wanted

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