Ted and Barney
Best Friends/Best Bros (says Barney)
Ted and Barney have been friends since 2001. Shortly after they met, Barney decided that he was going to teach Ted how to live meaning he was going to help Ted live a life of sleeping with various women as he does. Even though Ted initially saw Barney as a jackass, the two still became friends and each others' wingmen. For the majority of the show, Ted and Barney's friendship has been strong, until Barney slept with Robin which ended their friendship. They eventually made up after both Ted and Barney were in accidents and Ted admitted that he thought of Barney as more than a friend, but as a brother.
From Barney's perspective, he most likely thinks of himself as Ted's best friend. A running gag in the show is that Barney always gets insulted when Ted or the other members of the gang refer Marshall as Ted's best friend and Barney tries to get that person to call him Ted's best friend or refer Marshall as one of Ted's "closest" friends. While Ted always refers to Marshall as his best friend, Barney almost always states that Ted is his best friend (only has there been a few times that Barney has stated that Marshall is his best friend). In his attempt to make Ted more like himself, Barney acts as his wingman and regularly uses the line "Have you met Ted?" so that Ted will sleep with more women and enjoy single life. Although Ted is his best friend, Barney has shown to be insensitive to Ted's feelings. Ted telling Robin that he thinks he's in love with her on their first date inspired Barney to use that as a break up line for women. Also, Barney created a pick up line that he calls The Ted Mosby, in which he tells women that he was recently left at the altar as a reference to Ted being left at the altar by Stella Zinman. Out of everyone in the gang, Ted is most likely the person that understands Barney the best.
From Ted's perspective, he most likely thinks of Barney as his second best friend. Although Ted usually disapproves of the majority of ways Barney gets women, Ted has joined Barney on some of his crazy methods to pick up women, such as picking up women at an airport and hitting on New York women while pretending to be tourists. Ted has shown both disgust and respect/admiration towards the large number of women that Barney has had sex with. It was proven by Marshall that Ted has followed the Bro-Code flawlessly and been a very good bro/wingman to Barney. In the future, Ted tells his children that one of the reasons that he hung out with Barney was because he always got a good story from their adventures together. Although Barney may not understand Ted to the same extent that Marshall does, he does help Ted realize that he needs to have fun so that he can enjoy life.
In 2001, Ted and Barney met in the men's bathroom at MacLaren's. At the urinal, Barney told Ted a fake story about this being the first time he took his deaf brother out since their mother died and how he puts his dreams on hold to take care of him. Ted believed the story, which surprised Barney and admitted that he made up the story while peeing. Barney asked Ted for his name and before leaving the bathroom he told Ted that he likes him.
Fifteen minutes later, Barney sat down next to Ted and told him that he's going to teach him how to live. After which he introduced himself and reminded Ted that they met at the urinal. Barney then told Ted to lose his goatee, get a suit, and to not even think about getting married until he's 30 years old. Barney then told Ted to be silent for the next five minutes as a blonde woman, named Audrey, arrived. Barney then told Audrey that Ted is his deaf brother, Edward. He then became frightened when Audrey started talking to Ted in sign language. Ted surprised Barney when he replied back in sign language. Barney believed that Ted went along with Barney's lie and got Audrey to give Barney her number. Even though the number was fake, Barney considered it a sign that he and Ted were meant to be each other's wingmen forever. After this Ted and Barney started their friendship. What really happened was that Ted told Audrey that Barney was lying and told her to give Barney a fake phone number.
In Season 1, Barney helped Ted meet Robin Scherbatsky using his "Have you met Ted?" line. After Ted messed things up with Robin by telling her that he thinks he's in love with her on their first date, Barney tried to get Ted to move on and date other women. After Ted was insistent on being with Robin, Barney did help him by contacting a college student, who was majoring in Native American history, that he had sex with so that she could teach Ted how to do a rain dance so Robin's camping trip with Sandy Rivers would be canceled. After hours passed, Barney tried to convince Ted that the rain dance wasn't going to work and was surprised when it did begin to rain.
In Season 2, Barney was initially upset that Ted and Robin became a couple. Barney was upset at the fact that he lost Ted as a wingman and that Ted blew the only opportunity for the two of them and Marshall to be single at the same time. Barney at first tries to replace Ted with the newly single Marshall, but this ends when Marshall and Lily get back together. When Ted decides to move into Robin's apartment, Barney intervenes and steals Ted's stuff. Ted is forced by Barney to have fun with him so he can get his stuff back and during their time together, Barney made Ted realize that moving in with Robin was a bad idea. Later on, Barney was frightened that Ted got Robin pregnant when he learned that the two of them had a secret at Marshall and Lily's wedding reception. When Barney learned the truth, that Ted and Robin broke up, he initially comforted and felt upset for him, but quickly became excited when Ted told him that he'll need Barney to be his wingman again.
In Season 3, Ted and Barney became each others' wingmen again while Ted gets over Robin. After Barney had sex with Robin, he felt so guilty that he hired Marshall as a lawyer to find a loophole in the Bro-Code as way to justify him having sex with Robin and that he could continue to be friends with Ted. Marshall read through the Bro-Code and found that Ted has followed it flawlessly, time and time again. Later, Barney picked Ted up in a limo to take him to his birthday party, where Ted revealed that Robin told him that she slept with Barney. Ted berated Barney for sleeping with his ex-girlfriend and told him that he always felt, that even though he had done some despicable things to sleep with women, that he represented the line that Barney would never cross. Ted then told Barney that not only does he no longer want to be bros, but he doesn't want to be friends anymore.
Later on, when Lily called Barney and told him that Ted was in a car accident, Barney walked out of his work meeting and ran all the way to the hospital. Ted and the rest of the gang found Barney in a hospital room after being hit by a bus right in front of the hospital. Barney asks Ted if they can be friends again, Ted responds that they're more than friends they're brothers.
In Season 4, Barney is there to comfort Ted after he is left at the altar by Stella. Although it seemed that Ted had completely forgiven Barney, he still showed distrust towards Barney when his younger sister moved to New York, who he had hid from Barney for as long as possible due to him singing songs about having sex with her every time he saw her picture. Even though Barney promised Ted that he would not sleep with Heather, he could tell that Ted still didn't trust him. With the help of Heather, Barney set things up so Lily, who he knew couldn't keep a secret, would tell Ted that he slept with her so that Barney and Heather could prove that Ted was wrong about them. Barney however did reveal that he kissed Ted's mother. Later, when Robin and Ted began having casual sex to deal with their roommate problems, Barney was upset by this. Barney was stressed due to being in love with Robin, while trying to pretend that he was happy for Ted every time Ted told him when they had sex. Barney would cope by destroying televisions, but eventually the stress was too much so Barney actually went to their apartment and fixed the problems Ted and Robin fought about (he cleaned the apartment, bought them a new dishwasher, bought Ted 10,000 stamps, and filled their refrigerator with cartons of milk). Ted realized things were odd when Barney said he did all this so he and Robin wouldn't fight anymore so Ted asked Barney if he was in love with Robin. Even though Ted told Barney he would be fine if Barney had developed feelings for Robin, Barney denied that he was in love with Robin. Ted was able to see through Barney's lie and stopped having casual sex with Robin for Barney's sake. Barney would eventually ask Ted for his blessing to pursue Robin by referencing her as a Canadian suit that Ted had once worn and that he really likes. Ted obviously seeing through the metaphor gave Barney his blessing to be with Robin, seeing how much he cared for her.
After Robin complains to Ted and Lily about Barney being her boyfriend and how she feels that maybe they shouldn't be together after all, Ted tells Barney Robin's opinion of him. Ted then offers to teach Barney everything he knows about Robin from his relationship with her so that Barney can be a good boyfriend to her. When Robin learns about the Robin101 class, Ted stops the classes and convinces Robin to forgive Barney by telling her that he's never seen Barney work so hard to keep a girl around. Ted would later give Barney and Robin more couple advice, telling them that they need to have couple friends after they become depressed after being replaced as Marshall and Lily's "couple best friends".
Months later, Barney hands down his porn collection to Ted. The porno that Ted decides to watch is recorded over by Barney giving Ted a message that if he's in a relationship to get him out of it. After noticing that Barney has gained weight and how miserable he and Robin are together, Ted recruits Marshall and Lily to help him break them up.
In Twin Beds, after Barney is starting to want Robin back because she is starting to get serious with Don, Ted makes him read the letter he had put Barney to write after their breakup to tell his future self why Robin and Barney did not work out together (as Ted had done with his previous relationships). However, this only makes him more eager to get Robin back. Another night, Ted also reads his own letter written after he and Robin broke up, and after reading it he also wants her back. The two spend the night arguing over who deserved Robin more, getting themselves drunk at the same time. Eventually, Barney goes to the bathroom to call Robin in a flirting manner, and when Barney learns Ted is doing the same in the kitchen, he attacks him and they engage in a violent fight. After this, they storm off to see Robin at Don's place and try to win her back. However, they pass out on Don's couch. The following morning, Ted and Barney wake up on Don's and his ex's twin beds, hungover. They apologize for their behavior, although Robin turns both down and says she is "not going to be a part of the group" as she believes her relationship with Don is real and it would conflict with Ted and Barney's feelings for Robin, and that she will be moving in with him. After four days, Ted and Barney are at MacLaren's, discussing the recent events.
Future Ted reveals that "a little ways down the road", Ted will be giving a wedding toast as the best man, and that he will meet the mother on the day of the wedding. It is later seen in Challenge Accepted that he is in fact the best man to Barney, and that the Mother is most likely a guest at the wedding.
In Landmarks, Barney remains estranged from the group, since both Marshall and Ted are in support of the Arcadian’s preservation. However, Barney learns from his boss Arthur that not only will Ted be fired if the project doesn't go through, but Barney will also be fired for having suggested Ted as the architect in the first place. When Ted hears of this, he refuses to budge, but Robin explains that no matter what happens to the Arcadian, his relationship with Zoey will end badly: if the Arcadian is not accepted as a landmark, Zoey will feel betrayed and leave him, while if it stays, Ted will leave Zoey out of guilt for having cost Barney his job. Ted still wants to keep the Arcadian and try to make it work with Zoey, but Ted later has a dream with Barney dressed up as the original architect of the Arcadian.
In The Rebound Girl, Barney and Ted talk about their failed romantic lives with each other and discuss that it would be better if they were gay. While talking about this, they decide to adopt a baby as bros. But Ted says that they are drunk and should think about this once they are sober. Following morning, they decide that they want to go through with it and fill out on online application form of an adoption agency. But later on they have an argument about raising the baby in Ted's house in Westchester and who should quit their job. They resolve these issues but once Ted's realizes that Barney will be a terrible father and tells him that, Barney angrily storms out. Later on, when Ted is apologizing to Barney on the phone, Barney enters The apartment with a baby girl. At first Ted is worried where Barney got the baby from. However, he stops questioning Barney once he notices that the baby is attracting the attention of many women.
In Tailgate, After facing difficulty in gaining entry to MacLaren's, Barney and Ted open a bar in Ted's apartment named Puzzles, an idea they had years ago. Despite their initial decision of keeping the drink prices low, they are forced to increase them when the crowd gets rowdy and starts breaking things. Eventually, they recruit Doug to throw everyone out.
In The Drunk Train, Barney and Ted revisit their previous night at a club in which Ted's date with Randi went badly but Barney landed up secretly connecting with Quinn. When Barney and Ted ride the Drunk Train two days in a row, but fail to hook up with anyone. One the third night, the get drunk, and two drunk girls ask them to come with them, but Barney passes. Ted then realizes that Barney likes Quinn, who he's been complaining about the entire time. Barney reveals to Ted that he and Quinn slept together at his apartment. Ted tails Barney that he is on The Drunk Train because he has no one can't thinking about, but Barney does and he is wasting his time on the train.
In No Pressure, Ted confronts Barney saying that Robin is in love with him, and something happened between them, which resulted in Barney and Nora's breakup. Barney then tells Ted everything that happened, and that Robin picked Kevin because she loves him. When Ted tells Barney that Kevin and Robin broke up last night, he shows his indifference to this. He says that he doesn't care that Robin is single, and wouldn't even care if she started dated someone else, even if that person was Ted. Ted then tells Barney that he has really grown up.
In Romeward Bound, Ted and Barney have a short but tense conversation over who knows Robin better.
- Future Ted refers to Barney as "Uncle Barney" when talking to his kids meaning that in the future Barney might be close to Ted's kids.
- Barney gets insulted when Ted refers to Marshall as his best friend and tells Ted to say that he's his best friend.
- Ted says that Barney is his best friend after Barney orders him to.
- Barney acts as Ted's wingman and hooks him up with Yasmin and Robin (Ted's main love interest for Season 1 and 2)
- Barney tells Ted that he should have kissed Robin and that there's no such thing as the "signal".
- Barney gets Ted to wear a suit before he leaves to go kiss Robin and also joins him, along with Lily and Marshall, on the cab ride over to Robin's apartment.
- Barney asks Ted why Marshall gets to be the best man at his wedding and yells that he's his best friend.
- Barney tells Ted that he should have kissed Robin after he shook her hand.
- Purple Giraffe
- Barney tries to get Ted to move on and forget about Robin.
- Barney tries to get Ted to sleep with another girl at his party and introduces him to a random blonde woman attending the party before he hooked up with her himself.
- At Ted's second party, Barney tells Ted that he told the random blonde that he slept with the night before that he thinks that he's in love with her, just as Ted did with Robin.
- Sweet Taste of Liberty
- Ted and Barney go to an airport to pick up women.
- Ted tells Barney that he's too liberal with the word "legendary".
- Ted and Barney take a flight to Philadelphia to hook up with two women they met at the airport, only to figure out during the flight that they have boyfriends.
- Ted and Barney get detained by airport security.
- Ted asks Barney why he even hangs out with him.
- Barney tells Ted that he can't lick the Liberty Bell by himself and that it has to be the both of them since Ted is his best friend and that without him he's the "dynamic uno".
- Barney tells Ted that he doesn't have to call him his best friend.
- Barney and Ted lick the liberty bell
- Future Ted tells his kids that he hung out with Barney because he always got a good story out of it
- Okay Awesome
- Ted and Barney go to the club, Okay, with Robin.
- Ted checks out the woman that Barney has been dancing with and tells him that she's good looking and out of his league.
- Barney tells Ted that the woman he was dancing with was his cousin, Leslie, and swears him to secrecy.
- Ted blackmails Barney to tip the coat check girl.
- Ted, Barney, and Robin become disgusted after watching Lily and Marshall on the dance floor.
- Marshall thinks that because now he's engaged, Ted may have more in common with Barney now.
- Slutty Pumpkin
- Barney tries to convince Ted to go a Victoria's Secret Halloween party with him instead of trying to find The Slutty Pumpkin.
- The Pineapple Incident
- Barney convinces Ted to drink so he will stop thinking.
- Barney burns Ted's jacket to keep him from making that phone call to Robin and come off looking like an idiot
- Barney tucks a drunk Ted into bed.
- Barney high fives Ted when he and everyone else is under the impression that Ted scored a one night stand with Robin.
- Zip, Zip, Zip
- Barney calls Ted for permission to make a move on Robin.
- Game Night
- Barney forces Ted to tell Victoria about the Re-Return, which was Ted running back to Robin after she rejected him the first night.
- Mary the Paralegal
- Barney sets Ted up on a date with Mary, who he claims is a hooker.
- Ted asks Barney if he would pick him up from Duchess County, but Barney turns him down.
- Come On
- Barney does everything he can to convince Ted not to go after Robin, but begrudgingly agrees to Ted's ridiculous "Rain Dance" plan.
- Barney claims to be Ted's best friend and the most important person in his life.
- Barney wins over Ted's parents easily.
- Ted Mosby: Architect
- Barney takes Ted's identity to land hot chicks.
- Ted and Marshall call Barney "Swarley" after a girl writes that name on Barney's coffee cup.
- Ted comes up with funny word play names for "Swarley"
- Arrivederci, Fiero
- Ted teaches Barney how to drive.
- Moving Day
- Barney urges Ted to come bro out with him.
- Barney makes Ted realize that he and Robin are not happy moving in together.
- Ted finds out where Barney is hiding all of his stuff.
- Something Blue
- Barney becomes upset when he thinks Robin is pregnant with Ted's baby.
- Barney is happy to learn that he and Robin really did break up.
- Barney offers Ted a cigar and asks him if he's going to need another wing man, Ted nods and Barney is overjoyed to have his wing man back.
- Wait For It
- Barney tries to take Ted out on the town to make him forget his troubles over Robin dating Gael.
- Ted abandons Barney to hang out with his new wild girlfriend, Amy.
- Barney teases Ted about getting a tramp stamp.
- We're Not From Here
- Barney convinces Ted to try the foreign men play on women when he notices Gael gets all the women effortlessly.
- Third Wheel
- Barney encourages Ted to go for "the belt".
- Barney defends Ted when Marshall and Lily get on his case about throwing away his possible three way.
- Ted refuses to tell an excited Barney if he engaged in the three way or not.
- Ted and Barney made a bet over who can land the soap opera actress in "Days of Our Lives".
- Little Boys
- Ted and Barney compete over who has the most game.
- Barney tricks Ted into writing down a set of ground rules while he goes up to Stacy and talks to her.
- Barney points out that he and Ted had never shared a woman before.
- Ted is actually scared of Barney's cooties as he couldn't drink Barney's scotch, which was only stirred by his pinkie.
- Barney also can't handle Ted's cooties all over Stacy.
- Barney set up the con to prove to Ted that he has more game than Ted.
- How I Met Everyone Else
- Ted urges Barney to talk about how they met.
- In the urinal, Barney tells Ted that he has a deaf brother, who believes him. Barney laughs at him and tells him that he just made that up and that if it worked on Ted, it must work on a girl from the bar.
- Barney asks Ted if he's a complete idiot, to which Ted replies that he must be since he's still having this conversation with him. Barney tells him he likes him.
- Barney joins Ted at the booth to tell him that he's going to teach him how to live.
- Barney first realized that he and Ted will be friends forever was when Ted participated in Barney's deaf brother play and used sign language to get the woman to write down her number for Barney.
- Ted reveals to Barney that he had actually signed to the woman that Barney's a liar and she should give him a fake number instead.
- The Platinum Rule
- Barney urges Ted to not go on a date with Stella as it violates "The Platinum Rule"
- Barney backs up his claim by reminding him the events of his and Wendy's sexual encounter, Robin and Kurt's relationship, and Lily and Marshall befriending their neighbors.
- Barney messes up Ted's hair to keep him from leaving.
- Ted tells Barney that if everyone followed all of his silly rules, the human race would cease to exist.
- No Tomorrow
- Ted joins Barney on his St. Patrick's night.
- Ted becomes more and more like Barney as the night goes on.
- The Goat
- Ted debroes Barney when he finds out that he and Robin had sex.
- Rebound Bro
- Barney tries to replace Ted as his wing man.
- Barney expresses at the end that he truly does miss being Ted's friend.
- Everything Must Go
- Barney enlists Abby's help to show Ted how "lame" he is when he's in a relationship with someone.
- Barney rushes to Ted's side when Lily calls him to tell him Ted's been in a car accident.
- After a near fatal accident, Ted rekindles his friendship with Barney and even calls him his brother.
- The Naked Man
- Barney urges Ted to try the "Naked Man" with him, who refuses because he really likes the girl he's going out with.
- Barney calls Ted as he's stripping to tell him he's doing the "Naked Man". Barney is overjoyed when he finds out Ted is doing it too.
- Little Minnesota
- Ted doesn't trust Barney and his sister, Heather, alone together.
- Barney and Heather put on a show for Lily to tell Ted just to get back at him.
- Barney is actually hurt by Ted's distrust of him.
- Ted finds out that Barney's in love with Robin.
- Three Days of Snow
- Ted and Barney run the bar together.
- The Stinsons
- Ted kisses Barney's pretend "wife" and then makes up some backstory that it was Barney who stole his wife from him.
- Barney bets Ted that he can complete Ted's "Murtaugh List" and then he has to join him in TPing laser tag.
- Barney and Robin make up a list of "Things You are Too Young" to do for Ted to complete.
- Ted decides to go TP laser tag with Barney and Robin.
- The Three Days Rule
- Barney urges Ted to not call back Holli until after three days.
- Barney swaps Holli's phone number for his work phone so he and Marshall could prank Ted.
- Right Place Right Time
- Ted hugs Barney in his montage of what he would have done if he had known that the events of the day would lead to him meeting his future wife.
- It's Ted who gets Barney to finally realize that Robin is his girlfriend.
- Robin 101
- Ted attempts to help Barney learn more about Robin.
- Barney defends Ted when Robin asks him if he thinks he's such an expert on her.
- Barney calls Ted a great teacher.
- Architect of Destruction
- Barney is tries so Ted return to the project and says that the whole thing that Ted had done is for get the woman (Zoey)
- Barney is upset with Ted when he sides with Zoey on preserving the Arcadian.
- Barney tries to make sure Ted won't be fired.
- Challenge Accepted
- Barney and Robin thwart Ted's efforts in getting back together with Zoey, telling him it would be a mistake.
- Ducky Tie
- Victoria warns Ted that he, Barney, and Robin cannot "hang out at the bar night in, night out, like you're all just buddies? That doesn't work. Trust me". Future Ted admits that "she was right. It didn't work; we just didn't realize it yet".
- The Rebound Girl
- Barney and Ted decide to adopt a baby together as bros.
- Ted tells Barney that they have to wait for the real thing.
- Ted and Barney open up "Puzzles" at their own apartment.
- The Drunk Train
- Ted and Barney board "The Drunk Train" to hook up with women.
- No Pressure
- Ted tells Barney that Robin's in love with him.
- Ted tells Barney that he saw him that night in Robin's room which was decorated with rose petals and candles.
- Barney tells Ted the events of his and Robin's hook up, how he broke up with Nora to be with her, and that she broke his heart.
- Barney gives Ted his blessing to pursue Robin because he just wants her to be happy.
- Ted tells Barney that he has really matured.
- The Broath
- Barney makes Ted promise that he won't tell the gang that he's dating a stripper, but Ted eventually blabs to everyone.
- Now We're Even
- Barney makes Ted go out with him every night to make it legendary just so he can take his mind off Quinn stripping for other men.
- The Final Page - Part Two
- Ted has let go of Robin, and has given Barney his blessing.
- Ring Up
- Barney begs Ted to continue seeing his much younger, much wilder girlfriend, until he learns she is his sister.
- Weekend at Barney's
- Barney prevents Ted from getting back together with Jeanette, reminding him of his one rule, "New is Always Better".
- Barney makes Ted promise that he won't tell Robin that the Playbook still exists.
- Barney and Ted run plays so that Ted can find another date to take to Robin and Barney's wedding.
- The Time Travelers
- Future versions of Ted and Barney try to convince Ted to go see Robots Versus Wrestlers.
- Romeward Bound
- Ted asks Barney to be careful about his behavior around Robin as he thinks that she is not as cool as she appears to be, and that Barney is not behaving like someone about to be married. However, Barney retorts that Ted doesn't know Robin more than him, her fiancé, and she is marrying him, not Ted.